If Rudyard Were a Trump Man

An astonishingly unexpected President was being inaugurated.
So many firsts were made with his election: age, religion, family background— and he had a poet at the podium with him.
Well, this time it ain’t Kennedy; both Robert Frost and Rudyard Kipling are gone, and what’s been forgotten of their legacies in the meanwhile makes civilization shudder.

(For the original of Kipling’s verse, go here.)

Hold ’im by the Heels and Smack Ass

The Founding Fathers could ill conceive either of this election’s choices.

For them, the tyrannical was freshly repudiated while women were naturally denied the manly tasks of statecraft. They’d flip their powdered wigs contemplating permission to resume the former in order to perpetuate the latter.

Men opine about the birth of a nation but empty their bowels at the actual prospect of birth itself. The electorate as midwife will God willing concede sanity as the way forward.