Want To Get Insanely Rich?

Crime didn’t much pay until U.S. prisons got privatized.
“We’re killing it,” crowed CEO Atticus Charon at a board meeting. “Why nobody thought of this before is beyond me— typical government ineptitude— they were actually trying to prevent crime, idiots. Competent private management now has U.S. prison populations quadrupling the global average with profits soaring!”

“Add a privatized Justice system and inventory delivery systems will guarantee convicts sprouting like daisies with revenues through the roof!”
Summing up the rosy financial picture Charon added “I tell our shareholders that our M.O. is MMO—  Means, Motive and Opportunity—with the emphasis on Opportunity!”

Dr. Carson’s Medicine Show for Kids

Cartoon characters who object to being drawn that way are running for President pursuant to Hype 1.0 alpha version Ronnie Reagan who conquered communism in his pajamas.

The mid 90s full release of Hype 1.0 mandated impeachment starts 48 hours after any Democrat’s Presidential inauguration; Hype 1.8 was a bug fix letting five Supreme Court votes elect Dubya and Hype 2.0 reelected him with a Diebold patch. Hype 3.0 was a quantum leap invaliding any President named Obama and black.

We now have Hype 4.0 which rewrites all forgoing bigoted code as coded non-bigotry when spoken in a soft voice by a cartoon black candidate of Republican extraction.

Hype 4.0’s reported glitches are vigorously disputed as “not very nice” by Dr. Carson, who has withdrawn from active campaigning to do a children’s morning TV show in his pajamas until the election in November 2016.

You Can Call This Politics

...but it’s really a spin-off of “The Apprentice” with a bigger, less competent cast.
(There’s also this if you need lots of words with your cartoons.)

Puntoon Thursday

To pun is human, to forgive, divine.
(for answer, click image open in separate window)

Puntoon Thursday

This one serves as commentary on the whole genre.
(for answer, click image open in separate window)

Puntoon Thursday

You’ve seen worse stuff floated.
(for answer, click image open in separate window)


Sloganeering is an imperfect science. 
If you even believe in science, haha.

Couldn’t Put It Down

Try as I would, I couldn’t. My vet had no luck at all— “This argle-bargles the hell out of me,” she sputtered. “Most tenacious doggerel I’ve ever seen.”

“I knew I should’ve studied English Lit instead of Feline sepsis,” she fretted, breaking another needle on its spine. “Pretty soon this gets into the general population and jiggery-pokery becomes the norm— oh, my God, I’m doing it, aren’t I!”

“Maybe we should burn it,” I blurted out, then immediately regretted it.

“Don’t go medieval on me, that’s just what they want,” she said not unkindly. Her hand rested a moment on my shoulder, I felt the human warmth beneath her latex.

Then she brightened. “I’ve got a litter of stray pups in the back— they’ll chew up anything!”


She apprehended my concern. “It’s all right. They’ve got iron constitutions. They’ll crap it out and be yapping happily again in no time.”

You Put That in Your Mouth?


It’s finished, even if I’m not all there.

What God Hath Wrought

Who even knows what wrought means? Who talks like that? 
Can we get a proofreader and editor in here?

It Just Keeps Getting Better

Move over Bernie, there’s new hair in the race (Lord, please have these guys debate soon!).

The Donald’s team comes out with a bold, aggressive slogan his campaign says is inspired by the “Let’s roll” heroes of flight 93.

Quoting Trump’s boast he’ll be “The greatest jobs President that God ever created” his campaign headquarters offshore in Aruba informs us he aims to take this hijacked country back from the far left Emperor Obama and make universal employment a fact for everyone but lazy immigrants, who will be “returned to their country of origin either voluntarily or in body bags.”

Even though the outcome of the ’16 election is a forgone conclusion based on post-Citizens United algorithms the Kochs perfected in the 2014 midterms, it’s still shaping up to be a hell of a contest.

Because His Swag Kinda Sucked

Bernie’s official campaign stuff is graphic retreads from political clip art so here’s some new stuff.

Gave him a slogan because Bernie’s a candidate who comes right out and tells you what he’s for. Says he’s a socialist— but gets a little testy when a big deal is made of it, saying they should attach “capitalist” to the other guys if they wanna be fair.

Bubba got elected with “it’s the economy stupid” which 20 years later is as true as ever, except stupid is money just running uphill and like a stuck valve. Stupid is calling corporations people and letting them write our laws because greed. Watching dinosaur retread movies while the planet overheats, poverty’s epidemic and veterans beg for healthcare is stupid.

Bernie’s too nice a guy to have bad graphics. Maybe too nice to be President, too, but I’m glad he’s running.