New! Improved!

New Year’s is a good time to be thankful. A sage once said “an attitude of gratefulness purges maladies”— or was it was mallomars? That’d be bad. Concentrate.
    • Here’s to the internet, a universe of ever-expanding wonders unless Comcast gets its way.
    • Here’s to beaming children who do stuff we wish we still could and make us wonder why the hell not.
    • Here’s to the buzzed, who shall entertain us and to the sober who shall drive us home.
    • Here’s to those lost or in harm’s way; may paths be lit for them.
    • Here’s to the severe— to those who’ve earned the rank earnestly.
    • Here’s to the chastened, the learned, the waking dreamers. 
    • Here’s to nature; there exists no more noble or decorated evidence of God.

    Here’s to the relentless, reckless monkeyshines of love.

    Playing at a Voting Booth Near You

    (For the Yiddish-impaired: Mensch means human, in a
    sort of Jedi way.)

    The Star Wars franchise actually became the Empire for awhile and it sucked.

    Listen, the Dark Side gets a cut of the gross no matter what, but even they have to admit something sucks when business sucks.

    Good guys who never give in, never sell out and have an actual working shit detector came in and saved the day again.

    Sure, it’s only the movies, but what a story.

    Available as Mugs, Comforters and Tea Cozies

    “Just Right for the Holiday Season!” says Team Cruz

    Puntoon Thursday

    Botticelli winced.
    (for answer, click image open in separate window)

    Talks Softly and Parries the Best Schtick

    Noam sayin?
    “All problems outlying my solution set are void”
    say the guys who can’t keep up.

    Want To Get Insanely Rich?

    Crime didn’t much pay until U.S. prisons got privatized.
    “We’re killing it,” crowed CEO Atticus Charon at a board meeting. “Why nobody thought of this before is beyond me— typical government ineptitude— they were actually trying to prevent crime, idiots. Competent private management now has U.S. prison populations quadrupling the global average with profits soaring!”

    “Add a privatized Justice system and inventory delivery systems will guarantee convicts sprouting like daisies with revenues through the roof!”
    Summing up the rosy financial picture Charon added “I tell our shareholders that our M.O. is MMO—  Means, Motive and Opportunity—with the emphasis on Opportunity!”

    Dr. Carson’s Medicine Show for Kids

    Cartoon characters who object to being drawn that way are running for President pursuant to Hype 1.0 alpha version Ronnie Reagan who conquered communism in his pajamas.

    The mid 90s full release of Hype 1.0 mandated impeachment starts 48 hours after any Democrat’s Presidential inauguration; Hype 1.8 was a bug fix letting five Supreme Court votes elect Dubya and Hype 2.0 reelected him with a Diebold patch. Hype 3.0 was a quantum leap invaliding any President named Obama and black.

    We now have Hype 4.0 which rewrites all forgoing bigoted code as coded non-bigotry when spoken in a soft voice by a cartoon black candidate of Republican extraction.

    Hype 4.0’s reported glitches are vigorously disputed as “not very nice” by Dr. Carson, who has withdrawn from active campaigning to do a children’s morning TV show in his pajamas until the election in November 2016.

    You Can Call This Politics

    ...but it’s really a spin-off of “The Apprentice” with a bigger, less competent cast.
    (There’s also this if you need lots of words with your cartoons.)

    Puntoon Thursday

    To pun is human, to forgive, divine.
    (for answer, click image open in separate window)

    Puntoon Thursday

    This one serves as commentary on the whole genre.
    (for answer, click image open in separate window)

    Puntoon Thursday

    You’ve seen worse stuff floated.
    (for answer, click image open in separate window)