Private Time With Vlad

The closed-room, unwitnessed, non-transcribed meeting of the U.S. President and the hostile foreign leader he’s under federal investigation for colluding with in the theft of the office he holds will commence as scheduled.

Queen Celebrates the Fourth

Just in: a learned rebuttal from MAGAman

Follow the Money?— Hah, It’s Stalking You

Deutsche Bank got caught in a $10B Russian money laundering scheme and paid a $630M fine— around the same time Justice Kennedy’s son at Deutsche Bank was loaning Trump over a billion dollars—when no other bank would touch him.

Just coincidence: Kennedy’s sudden departure from the Supreme Court bench just prior to the midterm elections while Trump is under Federal investigation for treasonous conspiracy with the Russians— and now he gets to pick his own judge.

Obviously, nothing to see here.

Harley Har Har

Snopes says the Harley Davidson CEO did not call Trump a moron, which is anyway an important fucking adjective short of what Rex Tillerson DID call him.

Trump’s trade war sent Harley packing overseas.The US’s largest nail manufacturer is brinking on bankruptcy from Trump’s “war.’

These guys voted for him. Did they not notice bankruptcy is his business model?

Mistaken Reality

Reality Winner is the name of this young woman. She worked for the NSA and leaked documentation of multiple Russian attempts to manipulate state and local electoral boards during the 2016 election.

Reality Winner is going to jail for violating the espionage act by sending the information to a media outlet. She believed the public should know Russians hacked our presidential election.

2018’s reality is a fraudulent US president installed by a foreign government, enabled by a corrupt Congress. Our rights, environment and treasury are being annihilated.

“Reality Winner” is a surreally perfect name for somebody prosecuted by illicit, deranged reality for demonstrating the practice of its opposite: moral sanity.

Loon Star State

Out on the Texas panhandle this billboard actually exists.

Unfortunately, Ted Cruz does, too.

A Maniac, You Say?

Veteran CBS newsman Eric Sevareid said his hour-long interview with Eric Hoffer was “the greatest filmed monologue I had ever had anything to do with in all my years in television.” Sevareid was the CBS Washington bureau chief from 1946 to 1954 and covered every presidential election from 1948 to 1976, alongside Murrow and Cronkite, so that’s saying something.

Eric Hoffer was a self-educated longshoreman who wrote ten books, became an adjunct professor at UC Berkley and was presented the Presidential Medal of Freedom in 1983. Asked  how his own epitaph might read, Hoffer replied “He wrote a few good sentences.” Here’s one:

In times of change, learners inherit the earth, while the learned find themselves beautifully equipped to deal with a world that no longer exists.

Get Out the Vote

Not making precognitive boasts, but this
video was made back in 2011 and Trump
was just a punchline. That hasn’t changed,
except the joke’s on all of us now.

Nixon Wept

Richard Nixon founded the Environmental Protection Agency, as crazy as that seems.

You’d need to be off the charts crazy corrupt to disgust Tricky Dick, but Scott Pruitt is already past his eyeballs in suits and investigations for payoffs, sweetheart deals, graft and malfeasance even as he reverses every environmental protection on the books.

His latest move was forcibly ejecting an AP reporter along with journalists for CNN and E&E from a public hearing. Even for a Trump appointee, he sets an unprecedented new bar for toxic.

Illusion-Free Presidents Day

Of course you’re
cool with that.

Why Cows Don’t Need More Hormones

I could’ve done something original for Valentine’s Day but instead I stole this from somebody’s FaceBook page.

Probably Not What You Actually Want Illustrated

...too bad.

Too, too


At Least Mussolini Made the Trains Run on Time

A stable genius time check

In the 1930s fascists actually did something to get elected, e.g., Mussolini made the lousy Italian railways efficient. Reality was reality-based.

We’re too technologically advanced for that shit. Reality is virtual now. Just give us a flashy avatar and keep us entertained so we can project our rage and contempt onto someone else.

Trump is the leader we deserve; the one we need. Obviously the system is corrupt, so obviously the most brazenly corrupt sons of bitches should run things. In a sewer, the biggest chunks rise to the top.

Button Heads

Artist: Dario Castillejos, Mexico

Supply a Caption

...or a backstory, fable, relationship arc— make what you will of this pair and put it into words.

I’d do it for you, but that wouldn’t help. You need to work it out yourself; understand what you’re seeing and honestly say what it is.

It’s practically impossible to get it wrong, no matter what you come up with, as long as “cur,” “turd” and “Lindsey” feature in your description.