Hold ’im by the Heels and Smack Ass

The Founding Fathers could ill conceive either of this election’s choices.

For them, the tyrannical was freshly repudiated while women were naturally denied the manly tasks of statecraft. They’d flip their powdered wigs contemplating permission to resume the former in order to perpetuate the latter.

Men opine about the birth of a nation but empty their bowels at the actual prospect of birth itself. The electorate as midwife will God willing concede sanity as the way forward.

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